I recently watched a youtube show about why people date ugly women. It was specifically pointed towards foreigners and Chinese women because that is the culture they are in at present.
I have a few thoughts. They mentioned that when you are new to an area, you might not know what the local "standards" of beauty are. I thought that was somewhat insightful. When left to your own discretion, who knows what kind of trouble you can get into.
What I really fixated on was their discussion of the "exotic" nature of people from a different culture. Let me add that upon first hearing this theory, I dismissed it. But as my want of deeper understanding of myself burrowed into my thought process, I realized that it played a huge, well, still plays a huge role in my life.
My first real dating happened when I got to college. The first girl that I dated regularly was from Florida. Now that wasn't that exotic but it was different. I don't recall ever asking her much about her home life as that really didn't interest me at the time. My biggest take away and the reason I ultimately broke up with her was that she reminded me of my mother. Nothing against my Mother. I love her greatly, but it wasn't what I was looking for when I dated. I wanted something different.
The next girl was from Arizona. Arizona wasn't that much of a mystery to me, as I'd visited my brother in Tucson several times. Indeed, my opinion of the desert wasn't all that high. Still, there was an adventurous spirit there that attracted me. It was just the beginning of my understanding of myself and what I really wanted in a relationship.
Mission. Disaster. Moving on. At least I had time to think about who I was and what I wanted.
After I returned, I dated a few girls from Utah. Nothing really materialized from it. By then I knew I was looking for someone that was strongly independent and adventurous. I didn't want to date someone "safe". I was starting to get serious about a woman from Ohio. I remember thinking that, while I really liked her, I wasn't so sure I wanted to live the majority of my life in the Midwest. Ha! I was also dating someone from Southern Utah. At the time, I was getting extremely interested in geology and I started appreciating, really appreciating the mountain west. So while location wasn't the sole factor in my decision to eventually marry Tracy, it played a large role. I remember her taking me to her parents for the first time and Southern Utah was captivating to me. They had freaking volcanoes in town! That, I think, clinched it. I mean, we were quite comfortable with each other and everything just seemed to naturally happen but the feeling that this woman could take me places did loom large.
I have carried that with me to this day. More of my closest friends are Indian. They have a culture that is so different from mine. Most of those Indian friends are women. Just easier to talk with them about the things that interest me, I guess.
As to these women that I dated and friends being "ugly", I would hope that age and experience have let me see beyond any purely physical attraction in any case. I find attraction is multi-faceted. I wouldn't call any of the women in my life currently or in the past anything short of gorgeous. They are beautiful, body and soul. I love hearing them talk about their lives and experiences and I still find the "exotic" attractive. I want exotic people with different experiences in my life.
"Exotic" isn't a bad thing, is it?
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