From an internet thread:
Hello, it's your friendly neighborhood immigration attorney here to give you what you need to win all of your social media debates with the estimated 1/3 of the U.S. population which still actively supports their government in the kidnapping, torture, and legal orphaning of small children. (Adapted and expanded from a Twitter thread I did over the weekend.)
1/ "THEIR PARENTS BROKE THE LAW"
(A) Like every federal statute, illegal entry has *never* (until last month) been criminally enforced 100% against everyone all of the time
(B) Per international law, asylum seekers are not supposed to be criminally prosecuted
(C) Even if they cross an invisible line on a map
(D) You probably committed three federal misdemeanors today before lunch
(E) So did Paul Manafort, who engaged in actual witness tampering *while out on bail for a far more serious suite of major felonies* and didn't I just see you posting last week that he got a raw deal?
(F) You are a sociopath***
2/ "WE DON'T LET OTHER KINDS OF LAWBREAKERS STAY WITH THEIR CHILDREN"
(A) Our carceral state imprisons everyone as the unisized solution to everything from drug addiction to homicide.
(B) That's not a *good* thing
(C) There are alternatives to detention for immigrants in deportation proceedings, and they were working just fine before this
(D) You are a sociopath
3/ "OBAMA DID IT TOO"
(A) No, he didn't
(B) No, he didn't
(C) No, he didn't
(D) No, he didn't
(E) No, he didn't
(F) No, he didn't
(G) No, he didn't
(H) No, he didn't
(I) No, he didn't
(J) No, he didn't
(K) No, he didn't
(L) No, he didn't
(M) Yes, he did some pretty bad things (even to migrant kids), and there's a universe of possibility to his left on immigration issues
(N) Seriously, I promise he didn't do this
(O) For real, he actually didn't
(P) Also, it couldn't be more obvious that you don't care if *anyone* has ever done this objectively awful thing and that you're just going in for a particularly sociopathic round of whataboutism here, which reminds me did I ever mention that
(Q) You are a sociopath
4/ "THE DEMOCRATS MADE THE LAW, TRUMP HAS NO CHOICE BUT TO ENFORCE IT"
(A) Cool. What law?
(B) How does it work?
(C) Are you talking about Flores v. Reno, because that's a judicial order to *keep families together*
(D) Are you talking about the TVPRA, because that was Bush and also you're wrong
(E) What we're actually talking about is 8 USC 1325(b), the misdemeanor illegal entry statute which Jeff Sessions has now required all federal prosecutors to charge in 100% of cases, and that's been around for going on 100 years but, like most federal criminal statutes, barely charged ever for first-time offenders
(F) You are a sociopath
5/ "DEMOCRATS COULD STOP TRUMP WITH A NEW LAW"
(A) That's abuser logic
(B) You're standing by (and, implicitly, behind) a horrific negotiation tactic which is causing permanent trauma to thousands of children for life for political gain
(C) Not one Congressional Republican will agree to sign off on a simple fix which would keep these families together
(D) Trump wants to blow up the entire immigration system by ending *nearly all family visas* (among other horrible stuff) and is literally holding children hostage to get what he wants
(E) You are a sociopath
6/ "HEY, WE ALL REMEMBER THAT PICTURE OF ELIAN GONZALEZ IN A CLOSET WITH A GUN TO HIS HEAD DON'T WE? WASN'T THAT YOUR BOY BILL CLINTON?"
(A) That was awful
(B) But done in the name of *keeping a family together*
(C) Bill Clinton was bad; Janet Reno was worse
(D) You are a sociopath
7/ "THE GOVERNMENT DOES OTHER THINGS THAT SEPARATE PEOPLE FROM THEIR CHILDREN"
(A) Those things are also bad
(B) You are a sociopath
8/ JEFF SESSIONS IS CARRYING OUT GOD'S LAW
(A) So it turns out we don't live in a theocracy (yet)
(B) Sessions specifically cited Romans 13:1, which was also used by German Nazi-sympathizing Christians against Nazi-opposing Christians
(C) And slaveowners
(D) The rest of Romans 13 isn't so good for your argument, have you ever actually read it or
(E) You are a sociopath
9/ "WE HAVE ENOUGH PROBLEMS OF OUR OWN"
(A) We sure do!
(B) Trump is actively doing everything possible to make every one of them worse
(C) They're fleeing for their lives
(D) US has a moral debt to #CentralAmerica after 150 yrs of military, economic, and political interference
(E) Turns out we can aid refugee kids *and* homeless vets, what a country
(F) You are a sociopath
10/ "THEY SHOULD HAVE COME THE RIGHT WAY"
(A) Tell me more, how does that work
(B) Very cool, you're wrong
(C) No, for real: learn how our system works
(D) THERE IS NO LINE
(E) What would you do if you had to choose between watching your kids die & crossing an invisible line on a map
F) You are a sociopath
11/"THEY SHOULD COME AT PORTS OF ENTRY OR OTHER LOCATIONS DESIGNATED BY THE ATTORNEY GENERAL"
(A) Did you know the phrase "port of entry" before last week?
(B) Asylum claims at POEs are being intentionally limited to a point that people are now being forced over the border
(C) This is an intentional tactic to manufacture a crisis and declare war on asylum seekers so that Trump and Congressional Republicans can justify pushing the worst possible legislation and call it "immigration reform"
(D) Hard-right "populist" government in Hungary did exactly the same thing for the same reason
(E) You are a sociopath
12/ "100% OF PARENTS WHO STAY IN THEIR HOME COUNTRIES GET TO STAY WITH THEIR KIDS"
(A) Might want to check your math there
(B) El Salvador & Honduras trade off each year as the world's murder capitals
(C) Being murdered separates parents from kids
(D) You are a sociopath
13/ "WHY DON'T THEY CLAIM ASYLUM IN MEXICO?"
(A) Mexico is not legally a "safe third country" for asylum purposes
(B) Same gangs operate with impunity there, easy to find anyone they want
(C) The Mexican asylum system is overloaded right now
(D) The US has a moral debt to #CentralAmerica after 150 yrs of military, economic, & political interference
(E) You are a sociopath
14/ "WHY DON'T THEY STAY AND FIX THEIR OWN COUNTRIES?"
(A) You are a sociopath
15/ "THERE IS A CRISIS ON THE BORDER"
(A) Only the one that Sessions/Trump have intentionally manufactured
(B) Border crossings at their lowest in 40 years, a relative trickle now
(C) Private prisons spent a lot on Trump's campaign, and their stock did *very* well after the inauguration; this is very obvious ROI
(D) Mexicans are no longer coming, most of what we're seeing now is direct result of a sociopolitical crisis in Central America for which our country bears direct moral responsibility
(E) You are a sociopath
16/ "BAHAHA!1!! *TRIGGERED* MUCH, SNOWFLAKE?"
(A) Knowing that thousands of children are being permanently traumatized & legally orphaned with my tax dollars in my name just so that Trump can get $130 billion for unnecessary border security?
(B) Yeah. I'm upset
(C) Also angry
(D) Don't *ever* mistake my kindness for weakness
(E) You are the *worst* kind of sociopath
Hello, it's your friendly neighborhood immigration attorney here to give you what you need to win all of your social media debates with the estimated 1/3 of the U.S. population which still actively supports their government in the kidnapping, torture, and legal orphaning of small children. (Adapted and expanded from a Twitter thread I did over the weekend.)
1/ "THEIR PARENTS BROKE THE LAW"
(A) Like every federal statute, illegal entry has *never* (until last month) been criminally enforced 100% against everyone all of the time
(B) Per international law, asylum seekers are not supposed to be criminally prosecuted
(C) Even if they cross an invisible line on a map
(D) You probably committed three federal misdemeanors today before lunch
(E) So did Paul Manafort, who engaged in actual witness tampering *while out on bail for a far more serious suite of major felonies* and didn't I just see you posting last week that he got a raw deal?
(F) You are a sociopath***
2/ "WE DON'T LET OTHER KINDS OF LAWBREAKERS STAY WITH THEIR CHILDREN"
(A) Our carceral state imprisons everyone as the unisized solution to everything from drug addiction to homicide.
(B) That's not a *good* thing
(C) There are alternatives to detention for immigrants in deportation proceedings, and they were working just fine before this
(D) You are a sociopath
3/ "OBAMA DID IT TOO"
(A) No, he didn't
(B) No, he didn't
(C) No, he didn't
(D) No, he didn't
(E) No, he didn't
(F) No, he didn't
(G) No, he didn't
(H) No, he didn't
(I) No, he didn't
(J) No, he didn't
(K) No, he didn't
(L) No, he didn't
(M) Yes, he did some pretty bad things (even to migrant kids), and there's a universe of possibility to his left on immigration issues
(N) Seriously, I promise he didn't do this
(O) For real, he actually didn't
(P) Also, it couldn't be more obvious that you don't care if *anyone* has ever done this objectively awful thing and that you're just going in for a particularly sociopathic round of whataboutism here, which reminds me did I ever mention that
(Q) You are a sociopath
4/ "THE DEMOCRATS MADE THE LAW, TRUMP HAS NO CHOICE BUT TO ENFORCE IT"
(A) Cool. What law?
(B) How does it work?
(C) Are you talking about Flores v. Reno, because that's a judicial order to *keep families together*
(D) Are you talking about the TVPRA, because that was Bush and also you're wrong
(E) What we're actually talking about is 8 USC 1325(b), the misdemeanor illegal entry statute which Jeff Sessions has now required all federal prosecutors to charge in 100% of cases, and that's been around for going on 100 years but, like most federal criminal statutes, barely charged ever for first-time offenders
(F) You are a sociopath
5/ "DEMOCRATS COULD STOP TRUMP WITH A NEW LAW"
(A) That's abuser logic
(B) You're standing by (and, implicitly, behind) a horrific negotiation tactic which is causing permanent trauma to thousands of children for life for political gain
(C) Not one Congressional Republican will agree to sign off on a simple fix which would keep these families together
(D) Trump wants to blow up the entire immigration system by ending *nearly all family visas* (among other horrible stuff) and is literally holding children hostage to get what he wants
(E) You are a sociopath
6/ "HEY, WE ALL REMEMBER THAT PICTURE OF ELIAN GONZALEZ IN A CLOSET WITH A GUN TO HIS HEAD DON'T WE? WASN'T THAT YOUR BOY BILL CLINTON?"
(A) That was awful
(B) But done in the name of *keeping a family together*
(C) Bill Clinton was bad; Janet Reno was worse
(D) You are a sociopath
7/ "THE GOVERNMENT DOES OTHER THINGS THAT SEPARATE PEOPLE FROM THEIR CHILDREN"
(A) Those things are also bad
(B) You are a sociopath
8/ JEFF SESSIONS IS CARRYING OUT GOD'S LAW
(A) So it turns out we don't live in a theocracy (yet)
(B) Sessions specifically cited Romans 13:1, which was also used by German Nazi-sympathizing Christians against Nazi-opposing Christians
(C) And slaveowners
(D) The rest of Romans 13 isn't so good for your argument, have you ever actually read it or
(E) You are a sociopath
9/ "WE HAVE ENOUGH PROBLEMS OF OUR OWN"
(A) We sure do!
(B) Trump is actively doing everything possible to make every one of them worse
(C) They're fleeing for their lives
(D) US has a moral debt to #CentralAmerica after 150 yrs of military, economic, and political interference
(E) Turns out we can aid refugee kids *and* homeless vets, what a country
(F) You are a sociopath
10/ "THEY SHOULD HAVE COME THE RIGHT WAY"
(A) Tell me more, how does that work
(B) Very cool, you're wrong
(C) No, for real: learn how our system works
(D) THERE IS NO LINE
(E) What would you do if you had to choose between watching your kids die & crossing an invisible line on a map
F) You are a sociopath
11/"THEY SHOULD COME AT PORTS OF ENTRY OR OTHER LOCATIONS DESIGNATED BY THE ATTORNEY GENERAL"
(A) Did you know the phrase "port of entry" before last week?
(B) Asylum claims at POEs are being intentionally limited to a point that people are now being forced over the border
(C) This is an intentional tactic to manufacture a crisis and declare war on asylum seekers so that Trump and Congressional Republicans can justify pushing the worst possible legislation and call it "immigration reform"
(D) Hard-right "populist" government in Hungary did exactly the same thing for the same reason
(E) You are a sociopath
12/ "100% OF PARENTS WHO STAY IN THEIR HOME COUNTRIES GET TO STAY WITH THEIR KIDS"
(A) Might want to check your math there
(B) El Salvador & Honduras trade off each year as the world's murder capitals
(C) Being murdered separates parents from kids
(D) You are a sociopath
13/ "WHY DON'T THEY CLAIM ASYLUM IN MEXICO?"
(A) Mexico is not legally a "safe third country" for asylum purposes
(B) Same gangs operate with impunity there, easy to find anyone they want
(C) The Mexican asylum system is overloaded right now
(D) The US has a moral debt to #CentralAmerica after 150 yrs of military, economic, & political interference
(E) You are a sociopath
14/ "WHY DON'T THEY STAY AND FIX THEIR OWN COUNTRIES?"
(A) You are a sociopath
15/ "THERE IS A CRISIS ON THE BORDER"
(A) Only the one that Sessions/Trump have intentionally manufactured
(B) Border crossings at their lowest in 40 years, a relative trickle now
(C) Private prisons spent a lot on Trump's campaign, and their stock did *very* well after the inauguration; this is very obvious ROI
(D) Mexicans are no longer coming, most of what we're seeing now is direct result of a sociopolitical crisis in Central America for which our country bears direct moral responsibility
(E) You are a sociopath
16/ "BAHAHA!1!! *TRIGGERED* MUCH, SNOWFLAKE?"
(A) Knowing that thousands of children are being permanently traumatized & legally orphaned with my tax dollars in my name just so that Trump can get $130 billion for unnecessary border security?
(B) Yeah. I'm upset
(C) Also angry
(D) Don't *ever* mistake my kindness for weakness
(E) You are the *worst* kind of sociopath
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