Cold Fire

While dropping off Ellie for her internship, I popped in some safe Rush into the radio and the song Cold Fire came up. I can't say that it is the most memorable song but it struck me this particular morning. For me, the song is about daters/lovers discussing their views of life with the female of the pair being more forceful in stating her outlook.

And it reminded me of a discussion I had with Tracy just the previous night. I paraphrase my observation, "There's a fine line from being viewed as insecure and my showing respect for all you do and having your own time and your not having to deal with my demands and requests."

So there's this negotiation that happens in a relationship about views and time and discovering what the other needs to have a meaningful life. While I've become more deft at doing this with someone who has shared her life with me for over 30 years, I can still appreciate what others that date have to do to be comfortable with the process. And I am more than aware that I go through a similar negotiation with my non-romantic relationships too. I like to talk about a lot of things that many are not comfortable discussing and I have to find out what limits exist there too.

I was told once by a former classmate that she never expected someone in her past to be so romantically minded. While that might be true, the execution of my thoughts and feelings are definitely lacking. And I know the difference between the "ideal" and reality. As the woman in the song states, "This is not a love song. This isn't fantasy land."

It was long after midnight
When we got to unconditional love
She said sure my heart is boundless
But don't push my limits too far.

I said if love is so transcendent
I don't understand these boundaries
She said just don't disappoint me
You know how complex women are.

...

It was just before sunrise
When we started on traditional roles
She said sure I'll be your partner
But don't make too many demands.

I said if love has these conditions
I don't understand those songs you love
She said this is not a love song
This isn't fantasy land.

Don't go too far
The phosphorescent wave on a tropical sea
Is a cold fire
Don't cross the line
The pattern of moonlight on the bedroom floor
Is a cold fire
Don't let me down
The flame at the heart of a pawnbrokers diamond
Is a cold fire
Don't break the spell
The look in your eye's as you head for the door
Is a cold fire.

I'll be around
If you don't push me down too far
I'll be around
If you don't push me down.

Last Ride of the Year, Unfortunately

 

My last ride of the year wasn't meant to be this. I was going to finish up, and I had been shooting for, a 120-mile ride that started by Wisconsin Dells and finished in one of my favorite cities, Winona MN. But I was tired of trying to convince Tracy to do an over-nighter in the age of Covid and as I was so dependent upon her for these, I guess I would just have to wait. So I tackled Military Ridge. It was a shorter trail, about 40 miles or so, and to make it more interesting, I didn't start at where it merged with the Badger State Trail and where I started that trail. Instead, I looked at the map of Madison and found a pathway that should be interesting through the town. 

I started at Olin Park, on the right of the map, and I would go north on the causeway and then get on the main path past the University and down to where the path started to head west on Military Ridge proper. I want to start off that I thoroughly enjoyed Madison. It looks like a nice place to live. Aside from some snark from my wife about parking where my journey began, knowing full well how my insecurities rise for putting her through this nonsense, the start was inconsequential. I think one of my knots gave out on the bike rack and I dragged a line for some time and it was shredded but the rack was still usable. That is one regret I have, not having a proper bike rack on the car.

Anyway, the causeway was a nice ride. I had to stop a few times to take pictures. You can see the capital also in this shot, as well as the skyline.

When I reached the other side of the causeway, I was joined by a woman on a bike that helped me with the signal to cross. It wasn't obvious on what to do to activate it. She was a pro in more ways than one. She had a trailer attached to her bike and she was a vet and that was her transport around town. I had an idle thought on what she did in the winter but the light was green and she was off. I had a general idea where to go but I decided to follow her for a bit because if anyone knew the pathways around town, she would. She led me up a side-street and an ally and a short path and boom, I was on the path I wanted to go. In short order, I went past the old rail station that appeared to be under rehab for shops or a museum. I couldn't tell which.

I also got to nerd out going past the University. Yeah, I stopped to take a picture. Some co-eds walking by probably thought "Grandpa's doin' grandpa" but I don't care. Shortly after this, Amy Shira Teitel, one of my intellectual heroes, posted this so I don't feel so bad.

I also passed by a diner I've wanted to eat at for years. There it was. Huh.

The rest of the ride through Madison was pretty and uneventful. I was mostly trying to be inconspicuous as Covid was in full bloom and I didn't want to breathe on anyone and the paths were somewhat crowded.

I wish I could give a good impression of the path, but it was very similar to the Badger State Trail. but had more turns. There were a few more "free libraries" along the way and smaller towns had parks along the way for riders to rest and recuperate. Tracy wanted to find a few places to shop along the way as a few of the towns were unique in crafts and arts but I don't think she was successful. 

There wasn't a whole lot to make the path memorable along the way aside from a nice park in Klevenville, a town of three houses with its own free library and a nice diorama showing how important the town was once.

Ridgeway was the nicest town for me. I was getting winded and they had redone the old depot and a nice park was alongside the trail. Going out of town, a nice church greeted me. 

The last leg of the path was the most brutal. It was like they decided to make it more difficult. The path started having more severe slopes, it had some paved stretches but then it broke up into potholes and macadam gravel. At one point, I wasn't sure if I was still on the path as it seemed to take a tractor path through a field and went awful close to some homes. I didn't want some guy running out of his house wanting to shoot me for trespassing. but it did settle down for a bit as it was to the side of a major highway and soon I saw Tracy parked in a DNR lot and I knew my ride was done. Dang, I needed a drink. I would have killed for a Dr. Pepper right about then. I think we did find one in town.

The ride home was a bit more interesting. I had placed her 40 miles outside of Madison and the best way of going home was a diagonal on the back roads. It was an adventure by our tame standards.

And so ended my year of biking. I still need to take a few more trips in Wisconsin to do the paths I want to do. Hopefully this death and sickness will leave us next year and we can go about our lives easily once again.