Bill Reel was starting his apologetic career when I was starting to question all the things I believed. I can't say that I envied his enterprise. I'd been there. I'd been there for over a decade. The more and more I learned, the harder it was to believe.
By then, I'd sat in my car two different times, with two different children crying that their parents were going to Hell because we bought a pizza on Sunday. I never taught them that. I wouldn't have taught them that. That means the church was teaching things to my children that I didn't agree with. That just highlighted the fact that my faith was very nuanced, very selective. It had to be for me to continue on. Quite honestly, I didn't know how to teach that nuance to my children. It was a serious concern for me.
The church was responsible for the best times in my life. I enjoyed college at BYU. I had met some incredible people there. Because of the church, I had a wife and family. If I didn't believe, I might lose them. I know what happened to people who disbelieved. They got divorced. I'd seen it. I knew people that it happened to.
So as I was finding my way through stage 5 of the stages of faith, Bill was entering stage 4. The people that he interviewed for his podcast, Mormon Discussions, I once held in high regard. Now, I couldn't tolerate the Cognitive Dissonance that I experienced when I listened to them. So, for the first several years of his podcast, I never listened to it. He even had the person that really fired off my faith crisis, who, trying to prove the reality of the Atonement, undercut it at every turn. So, I only really started to listen to him as he was in his closing phase of stage 4. That is when things get interesting, when a person realizes how he was deceived, and begins to crawl out of the pit his leaders kept him in.
So, like others that preceded him, he owned his life. He called out others for the gaslighting, for the ignorance that was forced upon him. His integrity could not bear being lied to, and he made it known. Mormon leadership doesn't like disobedience. Truth is a distant 5th or 6th. Obedience comes first. So, because he couldn't bow to their pressure to be quiet, they kicked him out. He could have just left, but he wanted them to kick him out for being truthful, for being a man of honesty and integrity, even if it didn't mean anything to anyone else.
Most things in life, I let God sort it out. I know what I had to do to sleep at night. I know what my family had to do for their own lives. I'll let others determine what is important for them. Yes, I have opinions. I'm sorry if I have offended anyone for those opinions. The VAST majority of members of the church I know are incredible human beings. That is why they are trying their best to be the best people they can. I just no longer agree with the medium, but we are all trying to do what is best for ourselves and our fellow man. Bill Reel did what he needed to do for his life. I did what was best for me.
And may God, if there is one, be understanding of how hard it is to figure out this life.
By then, I'd sat in my car two different times, with two different children crying that their parents were going to Hell because we bought a pizza on Sunday. I never taught them that. I wouldn't have taught them that. That means the church was teaching things to my children that I didn't agree with. That just highlighted the fact that my faith was very nuanced, very selective. It had to be for me to continue on. Quite honestly, I didn't know how to teach that nuance to my children. It was a serious concern for me.
The church was responsible for the best times in my life. I enjoyed college at BYU. I had met some incredible people there. Because of the church, I had a wife and family. If I didn't believe, I might lose them. I know what happened to people who disbelieved. They got divorced. I'd seen it. I knew people that it happened to.
So as I was finding my way through stage 5 of the stages of faith, Bill was entering stage 4. The people that he interviewed for his podcast, Mormon Discussions, I once held in high regard. Now, I couldn't tolerate the Cognitive Dissonance that I experienced when I listened to them. So, for the first several years of his podcast, I never listened to it. He even had the person that really fired off my faith crisis, who, trying to prove the reality of the Atonement, undercut it at every turn. So, I only really started to listen to him as he was in his closing phase of stage 4. That is when things get interesting, when a person realizes how he was deceived, and begins to crawl out of the pit his leaders kept him in.
So, like others that preceded him, he owned his life. He called out others for the gaslighting, for the ignorance that was forced upon him. His integrity could not bear being lied to, and he made it known. Mormon leadership doesn't like disobedience. Truth is a distant 5th or 6th. Obedience comes first. So, because he couldn't bow to their pressure to be quiet, they kicked him out. He could have just left, but he wanted them to kick him out for being truthful, for being a man of honesty and integrity, even if it didn't mean anything to anyone else.
Most things in life, I let God sort it out. I know what I had to do to sleep at night. I know what my family had to do for their own lives. I'll let others determine what is important for them. Yes, I have opinions. I'm sorry if I have offended anyone for those opinions. The VAST majority of members of the church I know are incredible human beings. That is why they are trying their best to be the best people they can. I just no longer agree with the medium, but we are all trying to do what is best for ourselves and our fellow man. Bill Reel did what he needed to do for his life. I did what was best for me.
And may God, if there is one, be understanding of how hard it is to figure out this life.
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