I Felt a Funeral in my Brain

I'm not normally a fan of Emily Dickenson, but a quick comment by John Green made me do a quick google search.

I felt a funeral in my brain,
        And mourners, to and fro,
Kept treading, treading, till it seemed
        That sense was breaking through.

And when they all were seated,
        A service like a drum
Kept beating, beating, till I thought
        My mind was going numb.

And then I heard them lift a box,
        And creak across my soul
With those same boots of lead,
        Then space began to toll

As all the heavens were a bell,
        And Being but an ear,
And I and silence some strange race,
        Wrecked, solitary, here.

And then a plank in reason, broke,
        And I dropped down and down--
And hit a world at every plunge,
        And finished knowing--then--

It is that last stanza that hit me. I've used various metaphors when describing my depression during my mission. Terms like "Emotional flailing", "Sanity going down the drain", and others that I can't recall at the moment. I found this phrase, "And then a plank in reason, broke, And I dropped down and down" so damned descriptive. 

Because it was such an emotional time, and I did so much damage to myself during that year (aside from the damaging culture I was immersed in), I remember it more acutely than other times. It was a time I resolved to change, as I wasn't going to walk down that road any longer.

Although it doesn't describe everything that depression is and is more related to bi-polar disorder, I find Evanescence's Lithium very, I don't know, telling?

I can't hold on to me
Wonder what's wrong with me

Oh, and here's a discussion on the poem. I Felt a Funeral in my Brain.