The Door

I'll let you in on a well-known secret. I suck at home improvement. I can't do much of anything in that respect. I try, and I do the things that I can afford to screw up on. However, the big stuff will have to be left to the professionals.

So when my brother-in-law came to visit, I asked him how to do some weather stripping on one of our doors that has suffered over the years. "Oh, there's this little insert do-hickey at the bottom that pops in there. Simple." So he showed me how to take it off. I went to Menards and found a replacement, I cut it off to the right length and bingo. Didn't even have to take the door off.

Then I was walking towards the laundry room a week later while Tracy was getting ready to take the kids somewhere, and since it turns dark around, oh, 2pm, the lights of the car were on. I saw this wide strip of light under the door. Great. Time to put the skills I learned and replace the strip on that door. Hmmmm. No way to do this without taking the door off. Well, I'll wait til a warmer day and when I have help to get the door on and off. I had about a week before a time presented itself. Tracy and I had some time free so "Let's do this thing!"

Tracy clearly was not that excited to do it. Clearly and unmistakably. Being the insecure relationship dude that I am, I thought back to a repair we worked on during our first year of marriage. Let's just say without reservation, I was an ass. It was one of the times where I think I was on my worst behavior. I go back to it because it was such a contrast to how I want to be. Even at the time, I knew I was an ass. No reflection necessary. It was one of those profound moments when I thought those girls that broke up with me were right, that there was something wrong with me and the thing I craved the most, a strong relationship, was out of my reach because I truly was an ass. So my mind went back to that. I tried to be as kind and polite as I could to show my wife, who has put up with so much from me, that I am a nice man and that she shouldn't leave me because our door is now off its hinges.

We went to Manards with the old part in hand, picked up what we needed and headed back. She helped me with putting it in the slot and getting the door set up. When I wanted to put some grease on the hinges before reassembling them, she warned me not to get any grease on her. Well, of course, I'll try not to get any on her. I'm already stressed by our pending divorce because she was sending out waves of emotional disgust by having to do this. While the door was hard to close because of the fresh insert, we wouldn't be losing much heat from that door this year.

I made mention of it later, letting her know how uncomfortable that was for me. Best to get it out in the open. So, was the problem with how I acted 26 years ago? "No, I just didn't want to do it. I was happy being lazy. I can't even remember about what you are talking about."

OK, she doesn't remember. Thank the Maker. But I remember it and it was a lesson to me. I have bouts of assitude occasionally and I try to learn from them. I probably shouldn't write or talk about them anymore, lest the accumulation of history makes her realize that she's better off without that crap in her life.

So, life is good here. I hope this holiday season is all good on ya too.