I was just thinking about expectations. We all have them. I considered some of the expectations of my own life. Sometimes things don't meet expectations though. This is when I thought about what my parents might have expected. The church I used to attend gives people a lot of expectations. You see, because if you don't meet their expectations, you don't get to have your family in eternity. And if you personally don't meet their expectations, you don't get to go either.
Did my parents raise good kids? Yes. Well, eventually. Maybe they moved around a bit in the morality of their youth, but they are good people. Still, in a religion where the family is paramount, two of their kids don't have their own families, at least in the 1950's definition. My brother never married. My sister is a lesbian and is married to her partner. Me? Well, I married. No kids for awhile, at least until we adopted. So we have an african-american son and two hispanic children. We do have a naturally occurring child between us too. But in the past few years we had a "faith-crisis" or what may be properly called a "truth-crisis" and we left the religion that we grew up with.
So, did my parents get their expectations? Maybe not. I can't speak for them. However, we are a different bunch. Are we still good kids? Yes. Darn good kids if I may be so bold. My parents have a wonderful family. Do they consider us good kids? I don't know. I know by the standards of my former religion, I'm a miserable apostate, not to be trusted. My sister is partly responsible for the downfall of society, and my brother is, at best, available to the lower parts of heaven because he never married.
The damage in this is because my religion has taught each of us that we are "less than", my parents and absolutely my former church considers us "less than". I have felt that way for most of my adult life. No more. We are flawed people, but we are also somewhere high in the Awesome Scale.
For a bit more of this and how it affects people and our happiness, I offer this video from Thinker of Thoughts and Stuff.
Did my parents raise good kids? Yes. Well, eventually. Maybe they moved around a bit in the morality of their youth, but they are good people. Still, in a religion where the family is paramount, two of their kids don't have their own families, at least in the 1950's definition. My brother never married. My sister is a lesbian and is married to her partner. Me? Well, I married. No kids for awhile, at least until we adopted. So we have an african-american son and two hispanic children. We do have a naturally occurring child between us too. But in the past few years we had a "faith-crisis" or what may be properly called a "truth-crisis" and we left the religion that we grew up with.
So, did my parents get their expectations? Maybe not. I can't speak for them. However, we are a different bunch. Are we still good kids? Yes. Darn good kids if I may be so bold. My parents have a wonderful family. Do they consider us good kids? I don't know. I know by the standards of my former religion, I'm a miserable apostate, not to be trusted. My sister is partly responsible for the downfall of society, and my brother is, at best, available to the lower parts of heaven because he never married.
The damage in this is because my religion has taught each of us that we are "less than", my parents and absolutely my former church considers us "less than". I have felt that way for most of my adult life. No more. We are flawed people, but we are also somewhere high in the Awesome Scale.
For a bit more of this and how it affects people and our happiness, I offer this video from Thinker of Thoughts and Stuff.
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