Doomed Marriage? Not necessarily.

I’ve blogged a bit about this in the past but not on this phrase but on life changes. My interest in this article is from the “Beware of What Saving Yourself Might Bring” section on. When that whole "Mid-life Crisis" hit and I re-examined what I believe, my politics, my relationships, it did create a crisis, and one that the article addresses pretty well for that matter. I don't like the fact society looks this occurrence as a completely selfish exercise. As a society, we don't want men to change and that is the real culprit. Men stand firm until the pressures just make us want to redo our lives in a flurry of activity instead of allowing us to grow and change throughout our lives.

And it isn't just men that go through this. My changes ultimately led to Tracy reexamining her life too and it led to years of rediscovery of who we were together. For us, so far, it has worked out. I know many couples where it hasn't worked out and has led to divorces, some amicable, some less-so. And it doesn't stop. We need to continue to talk about things, sometimes painful things. Many months ago I told her that I was still not where I wanted to be, and I started to change again where I was in our relationship. So far it is improving. We are different people than we were just 5 years ago. We have changed within the constraints of our commitments to each other and our family trying to keep realistic in what is possible. We also leave room for each of us to grow. We are two people that hang out together in an intimate fashion. Perhaps my view of our marriage has become more fluid than it was in the past, but I think we are doing alright.

Article - If You Ever Use This Phrase Your Marriage is Probably Doomed