Why Did You Get Married?

This thought has been on my mind quite a bit recently. I can probably answer it in many different ways, at different times of my life.

As a teenager, I wanted someone to talk to. I wanted romance and honesty and acceptance. I can't say I put that into action. When I did start dating, I was clumsy and didn't even know how to initiate romance. I was horrible at it. I felt that a woman wanted sweeping jestures. Instead, I didn't even know how to do the small things right. I felt that it should come naturally, and for some things, it did. Still, I didn't do anything too well. I'm sure every introvert out there could say the same.

Hmmm. Even the struggle for acceptance when the words "I love you." finally slipped out of my lips for the first time.

After my mission, I wanted to have fun more than anything else, after that miserable experience. I wanted someone with a sense of humor and interesting stories to tell. I didn't get that with my first more serious girlfriends after my mission. I wanted someone that could break me out of my introverted shell, push me to my limits, let me grab life by the throat. I wanted adventure. I wanted broken boundaries. I wanted to feel a freedom of thought that I hadn't experienced with some of my other girlfriends I have had. It wasn't that they hindered anything, but that I hadn't found the way to express anything.

I started dating a few girls quite seriously. They enjoyed my presence. That was new to me. I was more given to the chase, and these women didn't make me feel that I had to work hard, to guess what was wanted. They were enjoyable to be around. One clearly liked me but the one I was very interested in seemed to be more distant. As time went on and I had to evaluate my options. I would love to be in an exclusive relationship with either of these women, but I got tired of guessing with one of them, so I stopped dating her. My only reservation was the one I was leaving had a very interesting life and I was sad that I wasn't to find out more, but I wanted someone that wanted to be with me, demonstrably so. The girl I chose to focus on was from the midwest, Ohio to be more exact. I really wanted to stay away from the midwest, and that wasn't a plus, but she liked me, and I liked her.

Then I got a call. "I have cookies." I have since found out that it is almost cliche for a girl to do that. Still, it was a change; a drastic change from the girl I had tried to get close to unsuccessfully, the one with the interesting stories. I no longer wanted ambiguity in my dating. I wanted clarity.

She took me to Disneyland. I'd never been to Disneyland. Or California. When we went to her hometown, I saw scenery that astounded and amazed me. In her hometown, we stopped by a lava flow. A lava flow in the middle of town! Volcanoes were here! My God! This was so different from the sand and pine trees that I thought was my lot in life.

I wanted adventure. I still do.

I don't know what anyone else wanted out of marriage, but I think after much thought, that is what I wanted. Getting married to the person that was likely to provide it is a good reason, isn't it?