Am I Ever Going To Change?

I'm tired of being me,
and I don't like what I see,
I'm not who I appear to be
So I start off every day,
down on my knees I will pray,
for a change in any way
But as the day goes by,
I live through another lie,
if it's any wonder why

AM I EVER GONNA CHANGE
WILL I ALWAYS STAY THE SAME
IF I SAY ONE THING,
THEN I DO THE OTHER
IT'S THE SAME OLD SONG,
THAT GOES ON FOREVER
AM I EVER GONNA CHANGE
I'M THE ONLY ONE TO BLAME
WHEN I THINK I'M RIGHT,
I WIND UP WRONG
IT'S A FUTILE FIGHT,
GONE ON TOO LONG

Please tell me if it's true,
am I too old to start anew,
cause that's what I want to do
But time and time again,
when I think I can,
I fall short in the end
So why do I even try,
Will it matter when I die,
Can anyone hear my cry?

AM I EVER GONNA CHANGE
TAKE IT DAY BY DAY
MY WILL IS WEAK
AND MY FLESH TOO STRONG
THIS PEACE I SEEK
TILL THY KINGDOM COMES
--Am I Ever Going To Change, Extreme



I listened to this song on a live CD that I recently purchased. I remember listening to it on CD ever since we lived in Phoenix. I've always felt that it was speaking to me on a very distant level. Why would I need to change? I've a pretty sweet life going on. I don't need to change.

I took a job at Motorola 20 years ago this April. I've been challenged on a lot of levels, but for the past 15 years or so, it seems that I've been doing the same job. While I tire of it, as it makes some demands on my free time, it is such a secure job. I've not wanted for anything. Again, life has been pretty sweet.

I'm getting older. Do I want to stay where I'm at or do I want to break out and do some living of a different life? I miss the mountains terribly. I wouldn't mind starting over, releasing some of the emotional and physical baggage that I've accumulated from staying in one place so long. I've made a lot of changes already in my life the past 3-4 years. My thinking has changed quite a bit, but do I make a further jump, change my life a little more? Not sure.

Damn song is starting to speak to me on a more personal level, and I don't like. it.

Am I Ever Going To Change (Live)