For the past, oh, 3 decades or so, I've been involved in an experiment. It perhaps wasn't a conscious experiment, but it was being performed none the less. I've been trying to harmonize what I believe with what I see. At times it was rather messy, and caused an enormous amount of stress and cognitive dissonance. Last year, I decided to go with what I can see and see if my life becomes any better. Well, it did. A lot better. My internal struggles between my heart and mind quieted down to barely a trickle.
This different way of thinking, for me at least, really hit home with me last night while I was watching a show called "History of Science". They were talking about how scientists started investigating how old the earth was and the uproar it created amongst other scientists and religionists. What I was thinking during the time, perhaps blasphemously, was "Thank God I don't have that conflict anymore." Being an engineer in a magical world was difficult for me. Geology, Astronomy and the other sciences are what I am interested in and it was in stark conflict with my beliefs for so long. I lost sleep, spent hundreds, perhaps thousands of dollars and untold time trying to come to terms with it. When I decided to just let it be, let my mind, evidence and beliefs guild themselves, my world became calmer. Some things I was passionate about have become past curiosities. My life is focusing on the things I want to focus on. If evidence changes or new thoughts need to be thought, I'll work with them as needed. I'm done with trying to force the world into my preconceived notions. I'll let the world be what it is. I'll let me be what I am.
It's a good place to be so far.
Sunday, August 18, 2013
Sunday, July 21, 2013
Humanism?
I was a fairly impressionable teen I guess. I made a lot of mistakes, and my drive to find some sort of meaning in the world, forgiveness, or perhaps a cold glass of Dr. Pepper led me to consider a lot of roads. Like many other teens, I was heavily influenced by music. It made me think. The poetry that is inherent within songs appealed to me, and I considered their content. Also, I was a big science fiction reader, and that introduced me to a lot of concepts.
I remember contemplating some of the mysticism located on Ozzy Osbourne's "Diary of a Madman". He mentions things along the lines of Astral Projection, etc. I was never much for that form of thought. It seemed to make my BS meter wiggle a little more that I was comfortable with. I also loved Rush. Their songs spoke to me in a very deep way. They were humanists. They weren't Christians but believed in the common goodness of mankind, that we can overcome our weaknesses if we care for each other to the point of doing it. Then, there was Christianity. At that point, that was really all I knew. I later learned about Islam, Hinduism and many of the Eastern Philosophies.
Over the past many years, I've had to reconsider what I thought, what I believed. I find myself tending to align more with humanism again, if where I metaphorically stand in my world can even be given a name. It may just be age, as I grow weary of looking at the world trying to make sense of it. I just feel more comfortable being nice to others than trying to convince them that my way of living my life is the correct way. I no longer can convince myself of that, let alone convincing others. Perhaps I am turning into an Apatheist. I don't care if there is a god and don't care to spend the time and energy aligning my life to whatever he/she might think is best.
I look at the expanse of the universe. There is so much there. I look around me, and I see my friends, neighbors, the people who share this journey on the third rock from the Sun. That is what I care about. That is where I am burning out my life. If there is a god, he/she/it will have to understand that my time is growing short. I can't see a straight path, so I choose to love those that surround me. If that isn't good enough, then I guess I have no more to say.
Freewill
There are those who think that life is nothing left to chance,
A host of holy horrors to direct our aimless dance.
A planet of playthings,
We dance on the strings
Of powers we cannot perceive.
"The stars aren't aligned
Or the gods are maligned"-
Blame is better to give than receive.
You can choose a ready guide in some celestial voice.
If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.
You can choose from phantom fears and kindness that can kill;
I will choose a path that's clear-
I will choose Free Will.
There are those who think that they were dealt a losing hand,
The cards were stacked against them- they weren't born in lotus-land.
All preordained-
A prisoner in chains-
A victim of venomous fate.
Kicked in the face,
You can't pray for a place
In heaven's unearthly estate.
You can choose a ready guide in some celestial voice.
If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.
You can choose from phantom fears and kindness that can kill;
I will choose a path that's clear-
I will choose Free Will.
Each of us-
A cell of awareness-
Imperfect and incomplete.
Genetic blends
With uncertain ends
On a fortune hunt that's far too fleet.
I remember contemplating some of the mysticism located on Ozzy Osbourne's "Diary of a Madman". He mentions things along the lines of Astral Projection, etc. I was never much for that form of thought. It seemed to make my BS meter wiggle a little more that I was comfortable with. I also loved Rush. Their songs spoke to me in a very deep way. They were humanists. They weren't Christians but believed in the common goodness of mankind, that we can overcome our weaknesses if we care for each other to the point of doing it. Then, there was Christianity. At that point, that was really all I knew. I later learned about Islam, Hinduism and many of the Eastern Philosophies.
Over the past many years, I've had to reconsider what I thought, what I believed. I find myself tending to align more with humanism again, if where I metaphorically stand in my world can even be given a name. It may just be age, as I grow weary of looking at the world trying to make sense of it. I just feel more comfortable being nice to others than trying to convince them that my way of living my life is the correct way. I no longer can convince myself of that, let alone convincing others. Perhaps I am turning into an Apatheist. I don't care if there is a god and don't care to spend the time and energy aligning my life to whatever he/she might think is best.
I look at the expanse of the universe. There is so much there. I look around me, and I see my friends, neighbors, the people who share this journey on the third rock from the Sun. That is what I care about. That is where I am burning out my life. If there is a god, he/she/it will have to understand that my time is growing short. I can't see a straight path, so I choose to love those that surround me. If that isn't good enough, then I guess I have no more to say.
Freewill
There are those who think that life is nothing left to chance,
A host of holy horrors to direct our aimless dance.
A planet of playthings,
We dance on the strings
Of powers we cannot perceive.
"The stars aren't aligned
Or the gods are maligned"-
Blame is better to give than receive.
You can choose a ready guide in some celestial voice.
If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.
You can choose from phantom fears and kindness that can kill;
I will choose a path that's clear-
I will choose Free Will.
There are those who think that they were dealt a losing hand,
The cards were stacked against them- they weren't born in lotus-land.
All preordained-
A prisoner in chains-
A victim of venomous fate.
Kicked in the face,
You can't pray for a place
In heaven's unearthly estate.
You can choose a ready guide in some celestial voice.
If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.
You can choose from phantom fears and kindness that can kill;
I will choose a path that's clear-
I will choose Free Will.
Each of us-
A cell of awareness-
Imperfect and incomplete.
Genetic blends
With uncertain ends
On a fortune hunt that's far too fleet.
Thursday, April 4, 2013
Lauren Winner
“I didn’t really know, even when writing the book, that many Christian communities in times gone by would have said “Oh, this is normal, this dark night of the soul, this doubt. This is part of the expected choreography of a Christian life.” If I had known that, while writing Still, there probably would have been a chapter: “dark night choreography,” or somesuch.
It is only in the last year or so that I have begun to read and study and learn that many, many wise saints from times gone by would say, about a season of doubt or alienation from God or despair, “This is not an aberration. This is one of the well-established patterns of Christian life.” Not every Christian lives through such a season, but for many people, it is simply part of the architecture, part of what we can expect along the path to God, the path to true intimacy with God and self and neighbor.
Somehow knowing that has allowed me to read my own experience, my own years’ long (four? six?) sojourn into that alienation with a bit more—well, appreciation. And a bit less anguish. And it has allowed me to say to friends and parishioners who are in the anguish that they are companioned by saints, and by a whole tradition of wisdom for the dark nights. Knowing that does not make the dark seasons any easier. The dark seasons are, simply, awful. They are awful. But the knowledge that they are actually part of the warp and woof of Christian life may make our abiding in the darkness, our presence to the darkness, more bearable, perhaps less alone, perhaps even rich. Perhaps the place we know as a place of God’s removal becomes a place of knowing God more.”
— Lauren Winner
It is only in the last year or so that I have begun to read and study and learn that many, many wise saints from times gone by would say, about a season of doubt or alienation from God or despair, “This is not an aberration. This is one of the well-established patterns of Christian life.” Not every Christian lives through such a season, but for many people, it is simply part of the architecture, part of what we can expect along the path to God, the path to true intimacy with God and self and neighbor.
Somehow knowing that has allowed me to read my own experience, my own years’ long (four? six?) sojourn into that alienation with a bit more—well, appreciation. And a bit less anguish. And it has allowed me to say to friends and parishioners who are in the anguish that they are companioned by saints, and by a whole tradition of wisdom for the dark nights. Knowing that does not make the dark seasons any easier. The dark seasons are, simply, awful. They are awful. But the knowledge that they are actually part of the warp and woof of Christian life may make our abiding in the darkness, our presence to the darkness, more bearable, perhaps less alone, perhaps even rich. Perhaps the place we know as a place of God’s removal becomes a place of knowing God more.”
— Lauren Winner
Sunday, March 31, 2013
"A Short Stay in Hell"
Over the past couple of years I’ve struggled to finish any
kind of book before I lost interest. Don’t confuse this with not reading, as I’ve
read like a maniac at times. Still, taking the time to focus on plot, meaning
or even simple story has been hard for me to do. On a message board that I
frequented, a book, or more of a short story, was recommended. Well, a couple
of days ago I looked at it again and decided to download it on the kindle, or
rather, my phone. I tend to not spend any money on books unless it is something
I want to keep in my library for some time. Three bucks, no biggie.
The book is A Short
Stay in Hell by Stephen Peck. I have an affinity for books and stories
about an afterlife and this fits the bill. There are a few things that I think
would peak your interest and perhaps allow you to consider this book for your
shelf. Most books like this are affirming of pre-conceived ideas. If a catholic
writes it, you would expect a catholic take. If a mormon writes it, you would
expect mormon concepts, etc. This does it to a slight degree, but really works
out to someone with a mathematical background, which the author has. The author
is mormon. I don’t know if he is currently practicing. However, the reality
early on indicates that this doesn’t follow a mormon narrative.
The protagonist dies, and arrives in a demon’s office with 5
others. A short discussion ensues with one of the characters.
“….I was saved.”
“No. Sorry. The true religion is Zoroastrianism, I’m afraid. Bit of bad luck there. Christianity certainly borrowed a great deal from the one true religion, but not enough, unfortunately. Not nearly enough.”
“Zoor-what-ism? Never heard of it. How can that be the true religion?” The man looked confused.
“Zoroastrianism? Oh, there’s never been but a few hundred thousand of them at any one time, mostly located in Iran and India, but that’s it. The one true faith. If you’re not a Zoroastrian, I’m afraid you are bound for Hell.”
The man looked stunned and shocked. “It’s not fair.”
The demon gave a mirthful laugh. “Well, it was fair when you were sending all the Chinese to Hell who had never heard of Jesus. Wasn’t it? And what a cruel and vicious Hell it was. And your Hell was not our short little correct-you-a-little Hell. This was eternal damnation. At least in the true Zoroastrianism system you eventually get out of Hell. Do you have any idea how long eternity is? My heavens, what an imagination you humans have. What kind of God would leave you burning forever? Most of you wouldn’t do that to a neighbor’s dog, even if it barked incessantly at two a.m. every morning. After about ten minutes watching a dog suffer in the kind of Hell you imagined God was going to send his wicked children to, you would be pleading for the damned beast’s mercy. It’s crazy. Create a few beings; those that don’t obey you roast forever? Give me a break.” The demon shook his great head in wonder.
This gives you a sense of the story, but before the mormons
get too excited about the above dialog, the demon dismisses the protagonist's Mormon faith
without comment other than a quick “…not a bad Mormon. You would have made a
good Zoroastrian. Now what Hell for you?”
The rest of the book talks about the particulars of his
Hell. The protagonist, Soren, has to deal with his incorrect assumptions, faith
and morality. He deals with the particulars in relationships and what to do
with an unlimited life, one where you can die (and necessary in the story) but
never leave. He brings up peculiarities, like the lack of any ethnicity, no Asians/blacks/Hispanics,
but never addresses an answer. It doesn’t try to answer many of the situations
he finds himself in. I think that this is partially a reflection of the author’s
desire to get across that not everything has an answer, it just is.
I found this an enjoyable read. I finished it in a couple of
hours, if that. It is a short story. It still is thought provoking and brings
into question some assumptions of what we might expect ourselves.
Oh, his hell is a library. That is kind of important to the
story.
Thursday, January 31, 2013
Abraham Lincoln Anecdote
Abraham Lincoln, a noted storyteller, recalled that "there was a farmer who had a very large shade tree towering over his house. It was a majestic-looking tree, and apparently perfect in every part -- tall, straight, and of immense size -- the grand old sentinel of his forest home.
One morning, while at work in his garden, the farmer saw a squirrel run up the tree into a hole; he wondered if the tree might be hollow.
He proceeded to examine the tree carefully and, much to his surprise, he found that the stately tree that he valued for its beauty and grandeur was hollow from top to bottom. Only a rim of sound wood remained, barely sufficient to support its own weight.
What was he now to do? If he cut it down, it would do great damage with its great length and enormous spreading branches. If he let it remain, his family was in constant danger. In a storm it might fall, or the wind might blow it down, and his house and children be crushed by it. What should he do?
As he turned away, he said sadly: "I wish I had never seen that squirrel!"
One morning, while at work in his garden, the farmer saw a squirrel run up the tree into a hole; he wondered if the tree might be hollow.
He proceeded to examine the tree carefully and, much to his surprise, he found that the stately tree that he valued for its beauty and grandeur was hollow from top to bottom. Only a rim of sound wood remained, barely sufficient to support its own weight.
What was he now to do? If he cut it down, it would do great damage with its great length and enormous spreading branches. If he let it remain, his family was in constant danger. In a storm it might fall, or the wind might blow it down, and his house and children be crushed by it. What should he do?
As he turned away, he said sadly: "I wish I had never seen that squirrel!"
A Brief Note on Thomas Jefferson
A brief note on Thomas Jefferson, my personal hero.
Thomas Jefferson was a very remarkable man who started learning very early in life and never stopped.
At 5, began studying under his cousin's tutor.
At 9, studied Latin, Greek and French.
At 14, studied classical literature and additional languages.
At 16, entered the College of William and Mary.
At 19, studied Law for 5 years starting under George Wythe.
At 23, started his own law practice.
At 25, was elected to the Virginia House of Burgesses.
At 31, wrote the widely circulated "Summary View of the Rights of British America" And retired from his law practice.
At 32, was a Delegate to the Second Continental Congress.
At 33, wrote the Declaration of Independence .
At 33, took three years to revise Virginia's legal code and wrote a Public Education bill and a statute for Religious Freedom.
At 36, was elected the second Governor of Virginia succeeding Patrick Henry.
At 40, served in Congress for two years.
At 41, was the American minister to France and negotiated commercial treaties with European nations along with Ben Franklin and John Adams.
At 46, served as the first Secretary of State under George Washington.
At 53, served as Vice President and was elected president of the American Philosophical Society.
At 55, drafted the Kentucky Resolutions and became the active head of Republican Party.
At 57, was elected the third president of the United States .
At 60, obtained the Louisiana Purchase doubling the nation's size.
At 61, was elected to a second term as President.
At 65, retired to Monticello .
At 80, helped President Monroe shape the Monroe Doctrine.
At 81, almost single-handedly created the University of Virginia and served as its first president.
At 83, died on the 50th anniversary of the Signing of the Declaration of Independence along with John Adams.
Thomas Jefferson knew because he himself studied the previous failed attempts at government. He understood actual history, the nature of God, his laws and the nature of man. That happens to be way more than what most understand today. Jefferson really knew his stuff. A voice from the past to lead us in the future:
John F. Kennedy held a dinner in the white House for a group of the brightest minds in the nation at that time. He made this statement: "This is perhaps the assembly of the most intelligence ever to gather at one time in the White House with the exception of when Thomas Jefferson dined alone."
"When we get piled upon one another in large cities, as in Europe, we shall become as corrupt as Europe ."
-- Thomas Jefferson
Thomas Jefferson was a very remarkable man who started learning very early in life and never stopped.
At 5, began studying under his cousin's tutor.
At 9, studied Latin, Greek and French.
At 14, studied classical literature and additional languages.
At 16, entered the College of William and Mary.
At 19, studied Law for 5 years starting under George Wythe.
At 23, started his own law practice.
At 25, was elected to the Virginia House of Burgesses.
At 31, wrote the widely circulated "Summary View of the Rights of British America" And retired from his law practice.
At 32, was a Delegate to the Second Continental Congress.
At 33, wrote the Declaration of Independence .
At 33, took three years to revise Virginia's legal code and wrote a Public Education bill and a statute for Religious Freedom.
At 36, was elected the second Governor of Virginia succeeding Patrick Henry.
At 40, served in Congress for two years.
At 41, was the American minister to France and negotiated commercial treaties with European nations along with Ben Franklin and John Adams.
At 46, served as the first Secretary of State under George Washington.
At 53, served as Vice President and was elected president of the American Philosophical Society.
At 55, drafted the Kentucky Resolutions and became the active head of Republican Party.
At 57, was elected the third president of the United States .
At 60, obtained the Louisiana Purchase doubling the nation's size.
At 61, was elected to a second term as President.
At 65, retired to Monticello .
At 80, helped President Monroe shape the Monroe Doctrine.
At 81, almost single-handedly created the University of Virginia and served as its first president.
At 83, died on the 50th anniversary of the Signing of the Declaration of Independence along with John Adams.
Thomas Jefferson knew because he himself studied the previous failed attempts at government. He understood actual history, the nature of God, his laws and the nature of man. That happens to be way more than what most understand today. Jefferson really knew his stuff. A voice from the past to lead us in the future:
John F. Kennedy held a dinner in the white House for a group of the brightest minds in the nation at that time. He made this statement: "This is perhaps the assembly of the most intelligence ever to gather at one time in the White House with the exception of when Thomas Jefferson dined alone."
"When we get piled upon one another in large cities, as in Europe, we shall become as corrupt as Europe ."
-- Thomas Jefferson
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
The Anarchist
The lenses inside of me that paint the world black
The pools of poison, the scarlet mists that spill over into rage
The things I've always been denied
An early promise that somehow died
A missing part of me that grows around me like a cage
This is the chorus from Rush's "The Anarchist" on their latest album "Clockwork Angels". It is an angst driven album from my take on it. I just love this segment of the song.
The lenses inside of me that paint the world black.
This is a great way of saying that the world is the way we see it. Using the lenses of our vision to show that we are actively creating our world, helps put this in perspective. It isn't really black, but that is how he chooses to see it.
The pools of poison, the scarlet mist that spill over into rage
Doesn't this just paint a mind picture of evil intent? The imagery that this gives me is so intense and the feeling spilling over into rage. Spill over, as in he's already full of anger(?) where the excess becomes rage. Damn.
The things I've always been denied
An early promise that somehow died
The sense of entitlement, something he deserved being taken. The turmoil of revolution, one of the oldest passions in the world.
A missing part of me that grows around me like a cage
I stared at this lyric for some time and didn't grasp what Neil was trying to say. Now I get it. All the rage, anger and the missing part of him to the point of obsession, creating a cage around his soul that he needs to break out of. He needs to be free of that want, that desire, that need. Freaking brilliant! I wish, oh how I wish I could write lines like that.
The lyrics can be found at http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/rush/theanarchist.html. The drum and bass work of this song are exceptional. I wish I had sound equipment that could do it justice.
Geddy Lee talks about the song here.
The song can be had here.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)