For the past, oh, 3 decades or so, I've been involved in an experiment. It perhaps wasn't a conscious experiment, but it was being performed none the less. I've been trying to harmonize what I believe with what I see. At times it was rather messy, and caused an enormous amount of stress and cognitive dissonance. Last year, I decided to go with what I can see and see if my life becomes any better. Well, it did. A lot better. My internal struggles between my heart and mind quieted down to barely a trickle.
This different way of thinking, for me at least, really hit home with me last night while I was watching a show called "History of Science". They were talking about how scientists started investigating how old the earth was and the uproar it created amongst other scientists and religionists. What I was thinking during the time, perhaps blasphemously, was "Thank God I don't have that conflict anymore." Being an engineer in a magical world was difficult for me. Geology, Astronomy and the other sciences are what I am interested in and it was in stark conflict with my beliefs for so long. I lost sleep, spent hundreds, perhaps thousands of dollars and untold time trying to come to terms with it. When I decided to just let it be, let my mind, evidence and beliefs guild themselves, my world became calmer. Some things I was passionate about have become past curiosities. My life is focusing on the things I want to focus on. If evidence changes or new thoughts need to be thought, I'll work with them as needed. I'm done with trying to force the world into my preconceived notions. I'll let the world be what it is. I'll let me be what I am.
It's a good place to be so far.
