Hayden's Belated Birthday...Meat Cake.

Evilenko

Rating:	★★
Category:	Movies
Genre:	Drama

There are a few actors that I like to follow. Not particularly close, but I like their style. Malcolm McDowell is one of those for me. I’ve been going through his library of films via Netflix for the past several years. I’ve been mostly happy with his portrayals. He plays someone that is always slightly off. He plays it well. I like him in Generations, where he played a man willing to kill millions, if not billions, of people so he could live under the delusion of having his wife and family with him. He was in the remake of Fantasy Island where strange powers were employed to fulfill fantasies. More recently, I’ve watched him in The Mentalist (a rip off of USA’s Psyched) as a cult leader. I actually started watching The Mentalist just for his appearances.

In this movie, he definitely moved out of his comfort zone. Pretty far out of mine too. He plays a Russian serial killer, who preys upon women and children. Not only does he sexually abuse them, but he mutilates them with a flourish of cannibalism. A totally sick and depraved individual. Really, this movie is disturbing, and it is just a bunch of actors. I can’t imagine what the reality was like. The detective played by Marton Csokas ( of Aeon Flux fame) had a difficult time tracking him down and didn’t until over 50 victims were totaled.

I guess what was most disturbing to me, as I am a fan of detective and forensic shows, was how they convinced Mr. McDowell to play this part. I mean, it was completely off the rails for him. I also have to burn his naked form, as well as Mr. Csokas’, from my memory in some strange, homo-erotic psychoanalysis session in order to obtain a confession. Good night, you can’t unsee that.

I don’t expect anyone to rush out and see this movie, or put it in your queue, unless you are as twisted as I am, and this pushed my limits. It is unrated, and with appropriate reasons. Lots of blood, some nudity and a heaping helping of “OMG! Turn your eyes!”

Another movie was made about the same individual. It is named “Citizen X” and it has received some awards so perhaps that is more accurate or more tastefully done. I still like Malcolm McDowell, but what the heck was he thinking.

On snow

I would look out of the window and watch the snow fall down to virgin ground. I would watch the flakes swirl and sway in the eddies that would etch their path up and down the ridges, set like steps across the yard. The snow would sparkle and shine, glimmer in the bright sun. The narrow expanse of the yard would beckon for my gaze, to see the bright sculpture that nature had set before me.

 I would look out the window at the simple beauty, a foreign landscape from the green that occupied my vision but a few short months before. A vision of blades and weeds are now taken by white and drifts that rise and fall with the ever present wind.

I look out the window at chaos. My white dunes now crushed, pulverized. Piles of hard packed crystals, paths beaten into the depths, lumps of uneven size scattered across the small vista that I call my own. Not a space untouched, undisturbed. All is scattered. Banks once rigid are flattened, as if a herd of caribou had made a visit, scattering my calm with their passing.

Kids.

(500) Days of Summer

Rating:	★★★★
Category:	Movies
Genre:	Romantic Comedy

I just finished watching a wonderful film. Absolutely enjoyed it. “(500) Days of Summer” It is not a love story. You are told that by the author very quickly in the film. It isn’t chronological, which absolutely makes the film. You are seeing a relationship through the eyes of Tom (Joseph-Gorden Levitt) and his love Summer (Zooey Deschanel). These are two of my favorite actors (See Zooey in Tin Man). What is great about it is that Tom is constantly trying to figure out where he stands in the relationship, hence the non-chronological sequence, and trying to figure out where he went wrong. Any man does this, constantly trying to read the woman, wondering where he stands.

No, it isn’t a love story, but an darn good film. There isn’t any nudity that I recall, but the language is a little harsh, but considering the topic and the people, not out of place. I used worse in high school. I highly recommend this film. I haven’t had a lot of enjoyable movies lately, and this was worth the time.

http://www.amazon.com/500-Days-Summer-Zooey-Deschanel/dp/B001UV4XUG/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1291860186&sr=8-1

A great review here. http://www.amazon.com/review/R1A326IY2PMMU6/ref=cm_cr_dp_perm?ie=UTF8&ASIN=B001UV4XUG&nodeID=130&tag=&linkCode=

Insomnia and the Atonement

I’ve been suffering from insomnia recently. It has affected my work and my relationships, so I feel the need to apologize for my somewhat erratic behavior as of late. It isn’t something that I like to admit but I know it has happened as I’ve put some things in retrospective.

Some of the things that I’ve been thinking about recently are my relationships with people. I’ve spent much more time with this after reading some books by Blake Ostler. They have significantly changed my view of the Gospel, the Atonement, and my interaction with the divine. Wow, you say, that’s quite a list. Yes, it is quite a list.

In my amateur apologetic experience, I’ve defended the church (Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints or LDS Church) in many of its practices and doctrines. That really hasn’t changed. I still think that Joseph Smith, its founder, is one of the great thinkers of all time. His views have been glorious, and I don’t make any apologies for liking his world so much. Still, I have some fundamental issues, not necessarily with his teachings, but with the underlying structure of Christianity in general. I am constantly taken back by how corrupt all the agencies of man have been and have become. I’m more and more disillusioned with the direction of my government and the direction the world is going. In general, I’m trying to make sense of things.

Blake Ostler made no bones about taking some of the assumptions of Christianity on, even how members of the church perceive the gospel and make reasons for doing what they do. Presently, I’m rereading his second book, “The Problems of Theism and the Love of God”. I am particularly interested in that volume because it addresses the Atonement. It starts by addressing our relationship with God. Or rather, the relationship that God wants us to be in with him. He wants to be our Father, in a loving peer relationship. Everything he has done is to build us into coming into that relationship. Indeed, that is the reason for the atonement, to get us back to him.

So we are at the atonement. How does that work? How can my sins ever be transferred to anyone else? Blake offers that they can’t. In the same respect that we cannot punish an innocent man for the guilt of another, it cannot work that way for the atonement either. Our sense of justice wouldn’t allow it. To say that God somehow works under different rules undercuts our own way we perceive justice. Is it right to punish an innocent man for the guilt of another, in any regards? That guilt cannot be transferred. It simply cannot. The LDS belief that we cannot assume the guilt or consequence of Adam’s sin in the garden applies here as well, other than the fact that Adam was forgiven of that act. If I steal a car, it makes no sense to throw my son in jail. Does God operate on a completely different sense of justice than we do? Can we trust a being that operates in a way that is contrary to our simple views of justice? So you see the dilemma.

I honestly can’t summarize Blake’s views completely, as I’ve molded them with my own to a great degree. His view of atonement is that it is the state that divinity resides in. He feels pain not because he has assumed our guilt, as guilt doesn’t transfer. He feels pain because forgiveness requires pain. To forgive is just as stressful and painful as the guilt. The prodigal son is the prime example of this, although we constantly put ourselves in the state of the son and not the father. What problems, pain and sorrow does the father feel in that story? Having the atonement as a state of being with divinity takes the time element out of the atonement. Both the Father and Son feel the pain of the atonement, all the time. It is part and parcel of being divine, of bringing souls to your level, them becoming more and more part of your world.  It is an interesting theory, and really the only one that I have come across that comes close to answering my difficulties with the atonement.

Something else that I have considered is our getting the cart before the horse. We have looked at Jesus as the fulfillment of OT prophesies but perhaps aren’t understanding the cause and effect. Christians look at the blood of Christ in a particular way, of somehow having healing properties for the soul. Well, perhaps it really isn’t that way. The system of animal sacrifice did have blood as an element. However, there is no salvation in the blood of animals. The entire reason for animal sacrifice was to help us identify the Savior once he came, not necessarily that there was some healing properties with the shedding of blood. Jesus came as the suffering servant, not as a political figure. He was to be sacrificed by the people and their priests, so animal sacrifice was descriptive. Jesus needed to learn pain, sacrifice, hopeless suffering, those things that couldn’t be learned in a disembodied state. Just as we need to learn them. Blood was part of the atonement, but not integral. It was to help us identify the Savior from a more political entity that some of the jews still look forward to.

Joseph learned of the temple ordinances, the sealing powers, after the Kirtland Temple was dedicated. I think he learned what the real purpose of the gospel was. It wasn’t the forgiveness of sins, that was but a step. The real gospel is the sealing of the human family, the covenant relationships with each other that bind us to one another. The highest sacrament of the gospel isn’t with God directly, it is with my wife and my children. Joseph had that sealing power extend to a more expanded view than what the church currently allows. Brigham Young or perhaps it was another president narrowed the sealing powers to particular relationships.  At one point, I thought it was Joseph living a principle that he might not have fully understood. I’m more inclined to think that Joseph had a more expansive view of the human family than we have or can really fathom. Before I start being accused of heresy or apostasy, I am not claiming that we should have not made those changes. I don’t pretend to that kind of knowledge. I fully accept that the president of the church is the only one with the sealing keys. I just think that we might learn more about the significance of this in the future than we do now.

Joseph highly treasured his friends. They were the reason he went through what he did. Some of his last words were that if his friends didn’t treasure his safety, than neither did he. Biting, to be sure, but that was his mind. As I get older, the more important those things are to me. Although I am a recluse, I want those intimate friendships, that bonding and time with others. My time on this earth is short. It has been filled with joys and sorrow, but though it all, friends are there. My wife is there. My family is there. They are the tangible parts of God that I can know and experience. It is to be with them forever that is my goal.

I highly recommend Blake’s books. They are not easy reads. He operates on a level that is logical and yet complex at times. Many in the church disagree with him. Luckily, there is room in the church for disagreement. We can learn of our own path before God with Him directly. I can’t say that my views have been verified in such a way, just that I find it easier to function with this view of the atonement and gospel. I’ll learn soon enough of the error of my ways as we all will.

 

New England in a day

See the photos at http://groesser.multiply.com/photos/album/35/Maine_Trip.

I have a bucket list. At least, that is what Tracy called it. I never thought I was old enough to have one of those, but I’ll go with it. It isn’t all that much of a list. I just want to visit all 50 states. So, as of last week, I had visited 46. I was missing Oregon, Maine, Alaska and Hawaii. So….where can I go in a rental car?

I’ve plans for Alaska and Hawaii, and I’ll be out west next year. That kind of limits my choices. I’ve avoided going to Maine because of its location. I had some issues in New England and I had some anxiety there. However, as I was planning, I realized that my anxiety seemed to have run its course. Much of the problem was related to my mission and my state of mind. Well, no way to find out if it is all better without actually going, huh? So I packed up Hayden and Ellie and off we went. It was fairly strange traveling without my normal angst that I carry with me. I use my trips to meditate, think, and come to grips with whatever problems I’m having at the time. This time…nothing. Oddly calm, or at least, oddly calm for me. I traveled though Indiana and Ohio with only one incident of driving a woman off the road. The car was a sports car and it had a huge blind spot and I just didn’t see this woman. Nothing seems to have come from it except my increased awareness.

The first night was spent in Buffalo, NY. Ellie lost a bet and had to sleep in my bed. Wow. That girl moves a lot at night. I think that I found the reason why Bennet always wakes up at night. She woke me up several times that night with her talking, moving and sitting up in bed.

The next morning it was raining. We drove to Palmyra to see the church sites there. We first went to the temple. I wasn’t sure if I had seen it. I didn’t think I had but the corner stone had 2000. I know I went there since then. We visited several times when friends lived there in the 90s. So we took some pics, played with a “temple toad” and went back down to Camorah. That is the place where the plates from the Book of Mormon were found. It holds some special family significance also. After the nickel tour from the missionaries there we got directions to the local Walmart (kids were sick and needed some drugs) we found that we could now drive to the top of the hill. So, we did. The kids ran out to the statue and keeping in mind the sacred nature of the place, I said a little prayer of thanks. I’ve been entrusted with some wonderful kids and I hope I am a good parent. I just wanted to thank Heavenly Father for what he had given me.

After a long trip to the “local” walmart, we again got on the road. In Albany I decided that we had some time so I took the road to Vermont. It would take me through one of my old mission areas which I wasn’t particularly fond of but the road I knew was beautiful. When we neared the Vermont boarder, Hayden threw himself forward and looked at me and said “First in Vermont!” So…now we had a game to play, didn’t we? When we passed through the valley I noticed a tower to the side. As I wondered what it was, Hayden said “It’s the tower of doom.” So I exclaimed “And every hour the laser of death shoots out and destroys cars on the road!” I glanced down and yelled “And it’s one minute to three! AAAAUUGGHH!” So we went through downtown Bennington screaming about the beams of doom. The trip up and down the mountains was beautiful. It was one of the only joys of being in that place. As we moved towards New Hampshire, I kept telling Hayden that it wasn’t near the border. Then as we crossed the river, I thrust my hand forward and looked at Hayden. He realized what I was doing and was foiled in his attempt to get into the state first.

We got lost in Portsmouth looking for our motel. Thank goodness for GPS because we had to go by the place three times before we could see or get into it.

The next day we again got lost looking for the Walmart to return our Redbox movie. Lousy layout for a retail area. The trip into Maine was via an older bridge in the middle of downtown. Lots of artsy fartsy stores. As we tried to find a nice place to view the Atlantic, Hayden mentioned that no one seemed to be smiling. I explained that people aren’t smiling because they realize they live in Maine. We got out, walked around a bit and then went down and drove to Boston. Each border crossing became a wrestling match between Hayden and me to see who was going to be first.

We traveled from there to Rhode Island, my first state-side area. I took some picks of Wyoming, RI. First to make some joke about Wyoming fitting into RI but to take some pics of the area. We traveled through there a lot when I lived in Wakefield.

Just inside Connecticut, I stopped for gas and purchased Tracy a lottery ticket. She said she wanted a souvenir and this was something. Off again on the road to Norwich. Norwich holds special significance. It was one of the most emotional times of my life, where I had to rebuild my psyche and overcome a crushing depression. It also was one of the more profound times in my life.  I loved much of that city. It was a very “character building” place. Still, we had to cross Pennsylvania yet that day so no time to dawdle. I had visited once earlier in the decade, so I did have some memories.

After racing through Danbury, my favorite area, we stopped at a rest area in NY. I had a little emotional moment as I realized that I didn’t feel any anxiety at all that day, that I seemed to have crossed that river, so to speak. It was a wonderful feeling.

The trip home was very uneventful. Scranton was pretty, believe it or not. Ohio was flat and so was Indiana. Aside from an passing an accident on the toll way, it was an uneventful trip but lots of good memories. 

Live Free or Die!

Rating:	★★★
Category:	Books
Genre:	Science Fiction & Fantasy
Author:	John Ringo

http://www.amazon.com/Live-Free-Die-Troy-Rising/dp/1439133328/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1289422347&sr=1-1

I finished reading “Live Free or Die” from John Ringo. I have avoided some of his work in the past but this seemed promising. It is based on an online comic so the ideas aren’t original to him. However, he is filling in the gaps to the comic. The basis of the book is that the earth is invaded by a group of people called the Horvath. They don’t have a lot of power, but they can drop rocks on Earth and essentially have us beat. The thing is, a man, Tyler, has figured out that maple syrup works like a drug on another group of aliens and Tyler has become rich and powerful from that trade. The Horvath have threatened the Earth to take over the trade and have told the President that Tyler must die and all syrup must be delivered to them. The following is a broadcast on Tyler’s reaction.

-----------------------------------------------------------

“Now, as a people, we have been called upon to make great and momentous decisions. Decisions reflecting both liberty and security. Liberty is an odd word. And for a long time it has been, in truth, degraded. Many who used the term liberty in truth mean libertine. And even those who fought in our courts and legislature over questions of liberty, in truth meant things that are minor at best and puerile at worst. As we have now found out, liberty is not about where you can put your sexual organs but about the essential question of whether we, as a people, can make our own decisions. And security is not about whether the government should be able to tap our phone but about whether we are going to be allowed to take the next breath. Will our cities be ashes? Will we live? Will our children live?

“Yet…to battle over maple syrup? The inherent humor of the situation sometimes clouds the truly vast nature of the struggle. For it is not, in the end, what we give up, maple syrup or gold or platinum. It is of a piece. It is about whether we, as a people, as nations that were both conceived in liberty, will continue to cherish that concept.

“Benjamin Franklin once said: “Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.” And in this current condition there is, in fact, neither. I understand, as few but the most specialized experts understand, the strategic situation. The Horvath control our orbitals. We can fight but there is simply no way to win. Fighting would appear to be a pointless exercise.

“But collecting this maple syrup requires the willing cooperation of thousands of people. Men and women, Canadian and American, who have been born in the concept, instilled in the idea, of liberty. These people of the fields, woods, and mountains, pour from these regions to fill our military. Not, as many city folk think, because they’re poor or desperate but because this is their essential nature. No person is happy to give their life, but the people of this region believe that there is something larger than their selves. Not just God, although many are believers in God, but a vision, a philosophy, a shared belief in freedom and justice and the battle against tyranny. From their very mother’s milk they are filled with this belief, that to die in the cause of freedom brings not heaven but a better place here on Earth for succeeding generations.

“I have taken the tenor of these people and they are determined against yielding. As stubborn as the granite of their mountains, they, almost in unanimity, refuse to yield. They may, perhaps will, be destroyed. But they, and, yes, their children, will die free.

“They, however, are not under threat. The Horvath threaten to destroy our cities, not these woods, mountains and fields. Let me touch upon that.

“The Horvath are a very monolithic and communal culture. The very concept of liberty is foreign to them. So I’m going to have to explain something to the Horvath. You may be looking upon our cities as sort of communal groups for which the people of this region are gatherers. This is not, in fact, the case. The people of this region are their own communal grouping, connected to but not of the cities. They are, in fact, almost invariably at odds with the groups of the cities. The cities, you dumb squids, are our enemies. You’re threatening our enemies, you morons! We hate the people of the cities. I hate the people of the cities! Liberal, whining, socialist pussies! They’ve never given us anything but trouble! Please, please, please nuke Washington! What has Washington ever done for us? They just take and take and take! The bastards! Kill them all!

“As for me, I’ll tell you what I think!” Tyler said shouting. He jumped up to his feet and flipped a bird at the ceiling, looking straight up. “Give me liberty, or give me death, you bastards! Live free or …”

“Lost signal from the cabin,“ Ryan said. “switching to…secondary remote.”

“Hah!” Tyler said, still flipping the bird at the ceiling. “Missed me, you egg-sucking ignoramuses! Never heard of a laser relay or a green-screen, have you? Go ahead and try to take our maple syrup! Dumb-asses!”

“And secondary remote is gone.” Ryan said.

“I think that’s good enough,” Tyler said.

--------------------------------------

The book has some interesting points, mostly a growing outrage with the people against the government. I was kind of shocked by the bluntness of the author but if this is getting into SF, that shows there are a lot of ticked off people out there. It is an interesting read but isn’t really believable. You can tell he’s trying to mesh into an existing story and the end kind of fizzles. Oh well, it was worth it for the above exerpt.

Maine Trip

November 2010. 47 down, 3 to go.

Out of the Dark

Rating:	★
Category:	Books
Genre:	Science Fiction & Fantasy
Author:	David Weber

David Weber, Out of the Dark

Out of the Dark, link to Amazon.

I really can’t say much more that what some of the reviewers at Amazon point out. I really like David Weber’s books, at least most of his science fiction books. I’m a die-hard fan of his Honor Harrington books. They are stunning space opera.
This book starts out fairly well, a classic LGM (Little Green Men, alien invation) story. The big bad aliens come and attack the earth with a bit of galactic politics thrown in. As in most Weber stories, millions, if not billions die. When the aliens mop up the rest of humanity, they are surprised by the resourcefulness and violent behavior of the humans. The story builds with typical detail. Humanity is on the ropes. The aliens want to wipe the planet with a bio weapon. My God! What is going to happen, there are only 30 pages left! Oh no, this is the first installment..uhggg. Wait, something is happening…Something is killing the bad guys….
Vampires??!!?! WTF? Really, I’m not one to swear but that was exactly what I thought. A good, but generic, story and… vampires? If it wasn’t a library book, I would have thrown it in the recycle bin. Waste of time and energy. I was so disappointed. I don’t know if it is due to his Tor contract but I don’t like what he writes for Tor. Baen books are much better.
I don’t know what the fascination with vampires is. They are walking death, a thing to be feared and destroyed at the first opportunity. What makes them so ---- popular?
Honor Harrington. Great series that I can’t recommend enough. Save the money and time on this one though.

On Cosby, Football, and Home Improvement

Had a wonderful weekend. First off, Tracy and I cut the last of our pegboard and Saturday morning, I put that up and finally finished the garage. I’ve been waiting for over a year to finally get that done. Once that was finished, I went off to the Elgin-Larkin high school football game. I have had difficulty going to games because of a few things that are increasingly annoying to me. I’m starting to not enjoy going to live sporting events because of the atmosphere. First and foremost, these are kid’s games. They are fun to play and to watch, but ultimately, just a kid’s game. The level that some people work themselves up to, over a kid’s game, is disturbing. Yes, I understand there is rivalry, but these kids are mostly good kids. Their parents are just as good as you are. There is no need whatsoever to “Boo” these kids. IT IS A GAME! This isn’t a battle of world domination. Second, the language. Now, I’ve had my own issues with language and I do sometimes have a problem, which is one reason why I don’t talk all that much. Best to keep the mouth shut. However, the language and the “universal adjective” being used by parents and kids alike make me wonder about the education of all involved. Really, I understand situational profanity. There are times when I think it is probably appropriate, unlike some might think. However, those times are hitting your finger with a hammer, or getting shot at. It shouldn’t be involved with kid’s throwing a football. It shouldn’t be involved with children at all.  There are times when I realize that it wasn’t too long ago we crawled out of the trees. I often have a low opinion of humanity. Anyway, I left the game shortly after halftime because of the other thing I have noticed about going to the games. I get lonely. My kids aren’t interested in watching the games, and I’m reluctant to take them to games where they will be assaulted by the language I experience.  My wife watches the kids. So there I am. In a crowd wishing I had my wife with me. The last 10 years or so has been like that.

Something else, and perhaps I am too hyper sensitive to this kind of thing, but I was walking to the game and next thing I realize, is that I’m surrounded by cheerleaders. Perhaps that isn’t a bad thing. Still, a man clearly in his mid fourties, with no woman accompanying him, walking amid 20 teenage girls in short skirts, with police all around…I decided that I should start fading back and separate myself from that group.

That night we had a friend’s child babysit and Tracy and I went to Bill Cosby. This was a last minute kind of thing. Tracy had looked it up and purchased the tickets. It was quite a personal event also. Back in 1986 I went to his concert with another wonderful woman and now 25 or so years later, went with my wife of 21 years. He had a good act. He uses the bible for much of his material, and I did like the piece about Adam getting a helpmate…not a boss. God could have given him a shammy, but the “mate” part might have been a bit more difficult. He compared childbirth to men getting stuck in their zippers, which was particularly funny. For all I know, it was probably the same material he used 25 years ago. However the venue was more intimate than the Marriot Center and the 25 years have made him a bit less active on the stage, but it was still a wonderful show.

It did highlight how much I enjoy being with Tracy. I just can’t get over how lucky I am for being married to her.  We have beautiful, if not somewhat frustrating, children, a wonderful home, a job that I thoroughly enjoy with a company I’ve wanted to work for since college. Yes, we’ve worked hard for it. We’ve had to sacrifice a lot of things to be where we are. I’m not rich for all of it either, but I am happy. That is more than some people, I guess. If I’m lucky, my life is reaching its midpoint…or perhaps it might be lucky if it is less or more than that. Still, aside from some short bouts, it has been a wonderful time. I’m glad I have such a great woman to share it with. I’ve associated with truly great people. I wish I could adequately tell them how much I appreciate them.

I realize I get overly nostalgic in my posts, but perhaps it is the thought that I never know when I’m going to check out and I want my last thoughts and communication to be positive and thankful, and, because I am.

Trip to Quad Cities

During a rainy day in September 2010.

Why is my wife hitting me now?

My wife, the beautiful homeschooling mother of four, turned around and slapped, pinched and hit me. What could this possibly be for? Just the suggestion that we go find tickets to our favorite band, book some plane tickets along with a nice hotel…possibly some wonderful sunsets…and then she turned on me. She told me to stop teasing her. Me? I would never do anything like that. Just the suggestion of a romantic weekend away with me draws such a response? Sure, we’d have to dock the kids somewhere and….oh….yeah…I guess I was teasing her. If there is anything that fatherhood has as a downside, it is that. The times when we can sit in silence to just hear each other are few and far between. The other night I was holding her and I had to fend off 2 kids that thought it was a gang-tackle, a fight between three of them and running, yelling, and spinning to see if they could make themselves sick. This was all within a span of a few minutes. I love my wife. I wish I had more quiet time with her. Maybe someday.

On a similar note, I found this in a local publication and on the web.

It was a busy morning, about 8:30, when an elderly gentleman in his 80's, arrived to have stitches removed from his thumb. He said he was in a hurry as he had an appointment at 9:00 am.

I took his vital signs and had him take a seat, knowing it would be over an hour before someone would to able to see him.

I saw him looking at his watch and decided, since I was not busy with another patient, I would evaluate his wound.

On exam, it was well healed, so I talked to one of the doctors, got the needed supplies to remove his sutures and redress his wound.

While taking care of his wound, I asked him if he had another doctor's appointment this morning, as he was in such a hurry. The gentleman told me no, that he needed to go to the nursing home to eat breakfast with his wife. I inquired as to her health. He told me that she had been there for a while and that she was a victim of Alzheimer's Disease. As we talked, I asked if she would be upset if he was a bit late. He replied that she no longer knew who he was, that she had not recognized him in five years now.

I was surprised, and asked him, 'And you still go every morning, even though she doesn't know who you are?' He smiled as he patted my hand and said, 'She doesn't know me, but I still know who she is.'

I had to hold back tears as he left, I had goose bumps on my arm, and thought, 'That is the kind of love I want in my life.'

True love is neither physical, nor romantic. True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, and will not be.

With all the jokes and fun that is in bulletins, sometimes there is one that comes along that has an important message. This one I thought I could share with you.

The happiest people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the best of everything they have. I hope you share this with someone you care about. I just did. 'Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain.'

http://www.unsolvedmysteries.com/usm499701.html

Already Gone

Rating:	★★★★
Category:	Music
Genre:	Pop
Artist:	Kelly Clarkson

I've always felt an affinity for "angry woman" songs. Kelly Clarkson is the latest in my love affair with women who hate men. While this song doesn't really fit that category at all, it doesn't lessen my like for her generally. I never watched American Idol where she began her career and that probably is for the better. I don't like pop culture all that much so I probably wouldn't have given her any consideration if I knew more about her beginnings.

I really like this song, and this video. Kelly looks healthy. She was catching a lot of flak for gaining weight but I never really did understand that. They made her look glamorous in this vid. Now, I have a not so secret crush on her in the first place, so she would have my attention regardless.

I'm not sure what the video is trying to say. If I had her say goodbye to me like that, dressed that way, I would be in a world of hurt. Really. Fix whatever the heck was wrong with me and go crawling back to her. Maybe that is what they were going for. Maybe they just felt the music deserved a little respect and chose accordingly. Not sure.
The song does have some meaning to me, having been "let go" myself. But I deserved that. There certainly weren't any kind of romantic overtones to that. However, I do understand the sentiment. I'm not quite sure how it would be to have any kind of a "loving" breakup as this song tries to portray. I really don't know what the mechanics of that would be. Perhaps I'll learn as time goes on. I'll have an epiphany and then I'll die of a heart attack at the revelation.

Mission of Honor

Rating:	★★★★
Category:	Books
Genre:	Literature & Fiction
Author:	David Weber

The latest in a long line of Honor Harrington books. This features Honor as peacemaker with the Havenite Republic, while her friend, Michele (Mike) Henke goes and kicks Solaran League behind. This is a good followup on the previous novel and moves the story along quite well. The major battle is actually in the middle of the book, after a long setup. The setup was actually too long, but I understand the thought. Military life and war is 99% boredom followed by 1% sheer terror. I get that.
The most significant battle, however, takes place in the middle of the book. The previous book mentioned some of the setup there, but I never did understand the significance until fleshed out in this book. Manticore was bloodied. I knew it would happen anyway because Manticore was being written as an almost superpower. Mr. Weber would have to bring things down a bit if he wanted to continue the series. I still can't help but wonder how a nation could be geared for war for so long...but it is fiction, isn't it?
The closing of the book was predictable. Haven and Manticore finally joining an alliance. It should be interesting.

Honor is written as a space opera. Like Star Wars, but without the cheese. The characters and action are bigger than life. The battles are based on naval campaigns and all the trappings thereof. The three dimensions and technology are easily envisioned. There is very little about the series that I don't like.

Many of the books are free, online at http://baen.com/. Also the books usually come with a CD that contain many of David Weber's previous works, and this was no exception.

All That I Know

Rating:
Category:	Music
Genre:	Rock
Artist:	Collective Soul

Hennepin Canal

I’ve been wanting to spend more time with Hayden this summer and perhaps bike a bit more. Since it has been so warm, and I don’t like the heat, things haven’t come together very often. We have done a few rides locally on the trails but not for very long. So, I’ve been looking for a chance to go down to the Hennepin Canal south of here and start doing the trails. About the most interesting ride that I could find was around the confluence of the main canal and the feeder canal. Going north from there is an aqueduct and I thought that would be interesting to see. It would be around a 12 mile ride round trip. We started out around lock #22 at a nice park. The confluence was nice, a big lake. I was surprised that the canal was only traverse-able via canoe and only just barely. Several portages would be needed.

The road to the aqueduct was a nice ride. Warm, but nice. We found some strange behavior with some butterflies. They would cluster on the path around dark patches. When the wind would rustle them, the would flap their wings like a wave in a stadium. Kind of cool to watch. Somewhere around there a dog met us. Considering there wasn’t really a farm or road around there...not sure where he came from, but he didn’t follow us. Hayden did ask me about the green balls. I wasn’t sure what he was talking about but he pointed to the walnuts that were scattered around the ground. Some of them were quite large and had a very interesting texture. They weren’t like the ones that we have in Michigan.

After getting back to the park, we packed up and went to Wyanet where there is a cluster of locks. That was a short ride, and we saw some interesting people and some nice scenery. Perhaps if we lived a bit closer, I would want to bike the entire path, all 104 miles of it.

Links:

Photos
http://groesser.multiply.com/video/item/49/Lock_15
http://groesser.multiply.com/video/item/48
http://groesser.multiply.com/video/item/47
Wikipedia on Hennepin Canal
Interesting Site
Feeder and Canal
Wyanet

Lock 15?

Lock 16

Mystery Geyser

This is a mystery geyser on lock 17 or so.

Hennepin Canal, July 2010

At lock 22, we prepare for our trip up the feeder canal. In the background is the stump chair and my bike...far right.

Hayden and I travel to the Hennepin Canal.

Google Your Name

When I googled my name, or a derivation of it, I found out I was a drug-using, gun-hiding dentist in Washington.

http://www.seattlepi.com/specials/dentists/243117_slow26.asp

BARRY GROSSER
Despite heroin use, his license was not promptly suspended

On May 19, 2003, Barry Grosser told a department investigator he was using 1.5 grams of heroin a day, and had been using heroin for the past year and a half. Grosser also admitted he’d kept guns in the office. According to the investigator’s report, Grosser opened a safe that contained three assault rifles and two semiautomatic handguns.

Though experts from other states said a dentist with a daily heroin habit should be immediately suspended, Washington's dental board did not suspend Grosser's license at the time. Instead, the investigator wrote that staff told Grosser "it would be to his advantage not to see any more patients starting now." According to documents, Grosser agreed to stop seeing patients. He said he agreed to enroll in the state's substance abuse treatment program for dentists.

Grosser said he didn't see any more patients after being told not to, but an office worker said that he did, state documents show.

Grosser said he has completed two three-month rehab stints and is in recovery. He said he has not used heroin since May 2003. His license is currently suspended, but he hopes to return to work soon.

Unfortunately, my own site is only found on the second page. Make sure you check up on your name. Yahoo didn't even list it.

Wonderful poem by Kipling

I recently found this wonderful poem. Just for interpretation, Gods of the Market place is Government, Gods of Copybook Headings is "common sense". It helps with what the poem is trying to get across.
http://www.olimu.com/readings/GodsOfTheCopybookHeadings.htm

As I pass through my incarnations in every age and race,
I make my proper prostrations to the Gods of the Market Place.
Peering through reverent fingers I watch them flourish and fall,
And the Gods of the Copybook Headings, I notice, outlast them all.

We were living in trees when they met us. They showed us each in turn
That Water would certainly wet us, as Fire would certainly burn:
But we found them lacking in Uplift, Vision and Breadth of Mind,
So we left them to teach the Gorillas while we followed the March of Mankind.

We moved as the Spirit listed. They never altered their pace,
Being neither cloud nor wind-borne like the Gods of the Market Place;
But they always caught up with our progress, and presently word would come
That a tribe had been wiped off its icefield, or the lights had gone out in Rome.

With the Hopes that our World is built on they were utterly out of touch,
They denied that the Moon was Stilton; they denied she was even Dutch;
They denied that Wishes were Horses; they denied that a Pig had Wings;
So we worshipped the Gods of the Market Who promised these beautiful things.

When the Cambrian measures were forming, They promised perpetual peace.
They swore, if we gave them our weapons, that the wars of the tribes would cease.
But when we disarmed They sold us and delivered us bound to our foe,
And the Gods of the Copybook Headings said: "Stick to the Devil you know."

On the first Feminian Sandstones we were promised the Fuller Life
(Which started by loving our neighbour and ended by loving his wife)
Till our women had no more children and the men lost reason and faith,
And the Gods of the Copybook Headings said: "The Wages of Sin is Death."

In the Carboniferous Epoch we were promised abundance for all,
By robbing selected Peter to pay for collective Paul;
But, though we had plenty of money, there was nothing our money could buy,
And the Gods of the Copybook Headings said: "If you don't work you die."

Then the Gods of the Market tumbled, and their smooth-tongued wizards withdrew
And the hearts of the meanest were humbled and began to believe it was true
That All is not Gold that Glitters, and Two and Two make Four—
And the Gods of the Copybook Headings limped up to explain it once more.

     .     .     .     .     .     .     .     .     .     .     .     .     .     .     .     .     .     .

As it will be in the future, it was at the birth of Man—
There are only four things certain since Social Progress began:—
That the Dog returns to his Vomit and the Sow returns to her Mire,
And the burnt Fool's bandaged finger goes wabbling back to the Fire;

And that after this is accomplished, and the brave new world begins
When all men are paid for existing and no man must pay for his sins,
As surely as Water will wet us, as surely as Fire will bum,
The Gods of the Copybook Headings with terror and slaughter return!

3 CHX & ADOOD

Hayden and some other people at his recital.

Girls' Day, 2010

Nauvoo, once again

Had a weekend of no rain, warm weather...so what comes to mind? Favorite place in Illinois, Nauvoo. We began the trek just deciding where to go. I was thinking Mississippi Palisades since I've never been th

ere before. Then it hit...Memorial day weekend. Longer trips are in order. Tracy got the stuff packed and I had the arduous task of staying out of her way. Aside from a small panic of not finding a temple recommend, it was a quick trip out. Tracy went in the temple for a session and I set up camp. To hear Tracy say it, I picked the worst spot, but it was on the top of hill, right next to the lake.

The e

vening was uneventful except for a brief moment of panic when I couldn’t identify a sound. It sounded like a huge winged insect, going back and forth outside of the tent, deciding whether or not to attack…then I remembered that there were probably bull frogs out there.

Then next day was uneventful for me really, which is what I wanted. I followed the family around for some of the restorations there, and then I stayed at the camp with a napping child for the

most of the afternoon. Tracy and the family went to a play around 7 and I went to look at the river with Hayden. We did make a brief trip to the old cemetery there. On the lot was a newer headstone with “Durfey” as the name. The man died in 1845 and his wife died in Winter Quarters in 1850. “They consecrated everything to the Lord”. I am sadder at the knowledge that she died so far away from home, probably on the way west to join the saints. We just don’t know what sacrifice really is.

I look back with a good deal of fondness

at the building of the Nauvoo Temple. I’m sure I’m not the only one. I watched the webcam on the internet. I volunteered twice for the open house. I wandered the halls of the old catholic school that the church bought as part of the temple construction. (The building has since been torn down, making way for an incredible view of the Mississippi River as well as the restored flats.) I have only visited the temple proper a few times since the construction. I remember being in the celestial room there just marveling at what the Lord has done for his people.

Sunday held the promise of being a hot and miserable day, with rain that evening and on Monday. I made the executive decision to head for home. After a lunch at Fort Madison, my next to favorite place (trains, barges and bridges), we came home.